A strange phenomenon in China: the vast majority of men are unable to support their wives and children, without older generations acting as free caregivers, many families cannot function properly.

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The translation of "潭友故事/关关" is "Lake Friends Story/Guanguan".

A few days ago, I had an argument with my wife. She said I am not working hard enough and that I earn too little.

As soon as I heard it, I was unwilling, and I instantly flew into a rage.

"Look at our community. Which family doesn't have the man working outside and the woman taking care of the household? It's already very difficult for me to support my whole family alone, and you still think I earn too little?"

The wife gave a cold laugh and said, "Do you think you really support this family? If it weren't for my parents coming every day to help take care of the children and do the housework, do you think this household could survive?"

I froze for a moment, and upon careful thought, that is indeed the case.

Every morning, the child's father-in-law and mother-in-law take turns coming to prepare breakfast for the child and see them off to school.

When I get off work and return home in the evening, the house is always clean, and the food is steaming hot on the table.

On weekends, not to mention, the elderly couple stayed at our house directly, taking care of the children around the clock.

At this moment, I suddenly realized that I have been living in a beautiful illusion all along.

Carefully observe the friends and colleagues around you, and you will find that this situation is simply terrifyingly common.

Lao Meng has a daughter who is in kindergarten, and she is taken to and from school by her mother every day. Jiaojiao has just given birth to a son, and her mother-in-law moved in to live with them for six months. Even the company's general manager often complains that if it weren't for his father-in-law helping to take care of the children, he and his wife would never have achieved their success in their careers.

This phenomenon has made me deeply contemplative.

In China, even though the country has entered modern society, why do the vast majority of families still rely on the help of the older generation?

Back in the day, my grandfather could support a large family just by farming.

In my father's generation, a worker's salary was enough to support a family's daily expenses.

In our generation, even dual-income families have to rely on grandparents to serve as unpaid caregivers just to barely get by.

Does this mean that our generation is actually more incompetent than the previous one?

Upon careful consideration, it is not necessarily the case.

Which young person nowadays doesn't start perming their hair from a young age?

From kindergarten to college, and then to work, which step is not a struggle?

Why is it that working so hard doesn't yield better results compared to the older generation who could support their families easily with less effort?

The key issue probably lies with the word "养" in this context.

The traditional concept of "supporting the family" mainly meant providing for basic needs.

And now?

Just the cost of children's education alone can drain an average family's wallet.

Starting from kindergarten, you have to attend various interest classes, have tutoring during primary and secondary school, choose the right school in high school, and study abroad in college. Each of these steps entails significant expenses.

Take another look at the house. Before, the whole family was crammed into a few dozen square meters, but now it easily reaches hundreds of square meters.

Mortgages are like a huge mountain, crushing down on young people and making it hard for them to breathe.

Which of the following is not a huge expense: medical care or retirement?

So, today "supporting the family" is no longer just a matter of basic needs, but to meet the various needs of a modern family in all aspects.

This is like in the past when just knowing how to swim was enough to cross a small stream, but now we are being asked to swim across the Pacific Ocean with our bare hands.

No wonder many families need the help of the older generation to keep things running smoothly.

The elderly person not only serves as a housekeeper and a chef, but also acts as a driver and a tutor. Doesn't this equate to providing an extra "salary" for the family?

However, we cannot always rely on the older generation.

As the population ages, elderly people in the future may not have the energy to help their children because they will be busy taking care of themselves.

What's more, many young people nowadays are only children. In the future, when they become parents themselves, who will be there to help them?

So, we must face this issue squarely.

Instead of blaming yourself, it's better to think about how to improve the operational efficiency of the family.

Perhaps we need to redefine the meaning of "supporting the family", or maybe we need a more scientific way of managing families, or perhaps we need to provide more support and services.

No matter what, the challenges we face in our generation are far more daunting than we imagine.

"We not only want to support our own small family."

When I got back home, I talked to my wife.

"I say:"

"You're right, I haven't done well enough yet. But don't worry, I will continue to work hard."

"老婆笑了，说：" translates to "My wife laughed and said:" in English.

"I will also work hard with you. Together, we will definitely be able to manage this household well."

At that moment, I suddenly felt that, although the road ahead is difficult, as long as we work together, we will always find a solution that belongs to our generation.

Qitan Reflection Diary - 2024.06.09

This article is complete, continuing to share my personal views on family education. Looking forward to your "attention" and "likes and shares".